5/14/08-6/10/08 Planet of the Apes(2008, Franklin J. Schaffner, Castro Theatre) - 8 Let me tell you, nothing says "sad lonely man" like a matinee show of Planet of the Apes. I wobbled in about 15 minutes before showtime and happily bought my medium popcorn and large ginger ale--the high point of my day. Exchanged very quiet hellos to all of the other men in line. There were wavy-haired nerds with goatees and a few sighing old-timers who were wondering what the hell young guys like us were doing at the show on such a nice day. It was like a mirror to the sick sad past and the sick sad future. A concession line of nerd-volution.
Anyway, I made my way down to the front and center row, and sat. Handful after handful of butter and popcorn used as short-lasting novocaine for the soul. The film begins with astronauts marooned on a planet light-years from home and two centuries into the future. Not only were they bound to that planet forever but human civilization, as they knew it, was a distant memory. All those dreams, all those women, gone forever. Suddenly the Castro's walls shook and laughed at me.
The Dark Crystal(1982, Jim Henson/Frank Oz, Clay Theatre) - 6 Dan and Jon played a show on Dan's birthday at the Clay.. opening for The Dark Crystal. It was a short and fun set right before the film, and the packed audience responded in the best way. Apparently a few people were under the impression that Dan's twee-Muppetcore band The Yellow Dress was a death metal band and came out to complain. Ha!
As for the movie.. Yeah, I dont know. I just didn't grow up with the film. I love Jim Henson and the Muppets, but never got into the Dark Crystal. I had similar feelings towards Conan The Barbarian. They came out in the early 80's, I was born in the early 80's. This film has a pop culture significance that I missed.
I have a feeling Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1989) will probably suffer this fate with the under-18 crowd.
Get Rid of Yourself(2003, Bernadette Corporation, download) - 6
Building a Broken Mousetrap(2006, Jem Cohen, download) - 7 A cousin to Get Rid of Yourself, this film has plenty of beautiful scenes of NYC shot on what looks like mainly 16mm film. The Ex is an amazing band.. Please don't watch this on your laptop.
Kung Fu Panda(2008, Mark Osborne/John Stevenson, Balboa Theatre) - 6
Superbad: Extended Edition(2007, Greg Mottola, DVD) - 9 Yeah, this movie is still good. The cut scenes made a lot of sense, they were pretty unnecessary but still fun to see in the final cut. The commentary is pretty fun.. watch it.
The Pervert's Guide To Cinema 1, 2, 3 Presented by Slavoj Zizek (2007, Sophie Fiennes, DVD, rewatch) - 9 Slavoj Zizek on philosophy and film.
Paper Rad: Trash Talking(2006, Paper Rad, DVD) - 8 These guys are my new favorites. Straight out of an art collective from Philadelphia, these short cartoons are flash-based loony tunes that go anywhere they want to. My favorite moment is when a wheelchair-laden and obese Garfield is attacked by a sexy puma that leaps out of his computer monitor. What the hell!
This DVD has the un-aired pilot, Alfe, which has Adult Swim written all over it. Its pretty entertaining stuff, it makes me want to come up with my own Cartoon Network just to get this cartoon rolling. Screw that, they should just keep releasing the DVDs under the radar.
www.paperrad.org
Mister Lonely(2008, Harmony Korine, Tower Theatre, Sacramento) - 8 One of those films that I saw where I knew I wasn't going to be able to say anything really that bad. It has my favorite opening sequence so far this year. It isn't so much about anything, but it isn't so disappointing.
The Lorax(1972, Hawley Pratt, VHS) - 9
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull(2008, Steven Spielberg, Castro Theatre) - 6
Encounters at the End of the World Preview, with Live Musical Accompaniment (2008, 21 Grand) - 8
Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay(2008, Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, Grand Lake Theatre) - 6 I was happy to see that Harold and Kumar was enough of a hit to justify a sequel and excited to see that there was more behind that "Fuck Bush" t-shirt from the first film. I'm giving a it 6, representative in Placenta Ovaries' canonical rating system as a "Liked it OK". But I expected to give it a little more.
Dick and fart jokes about Bush really only go as far as those clever little buttons at the bongshop. I wish they had made a better joke.
Speed Racer(2008, Andy and Larry Wachowski, Bridge Theatre) - 10 I had a funny exchange with an old friend about this movie. He gave it a 5/10:
"I'm gonna leave out all the other bullshit and cut it down to this, cause this is what really pissed me off. Whenever it should be a high adrenaline end of the race moment and you should be watching is fast cars battling it out for the finish line, Speed cuts into a pathetic memory montage that completely takes you out of the feelings you SHOULD be having at the end of a fucking race. It's like "Whoooaaa I'm going fast, I'm gonna win" and then its like "Aw I remember a story my brother told me when i was five" or "I love my parents" not "HOLY SHIT I"M ABOUT TO WIN THIS BITCH!" and then he does and the crowd goes wild....nope. Memory montages fuck the whole feel of the race up."
My answer:
I laughed my ass off during that memory montage. Plus, these are the Wachowskis, they like to tie in a lot of unnecessary drama and message--and they don't seem to care if it doesn't work. I can dig that. Its Speed Racer. SPEEED RACERRR!
OK OK.. I just couldn't think anything bad about this movie. All of the elements of the show are have been protected and updated. The other racers are still 60's villains with silly gimmicks and die pretty casually. There's also ninjas, machine guns, and mob bosses. None of this should be taken seriously.
The movie is a throwback to an old cartoon. There's probably plenty of reasons not to make this movie. And its shown in its poor reception among pretty much everyone else who doesn't really care about the Speed Racer series.
But somehow it slipped in. It got all the funding it needed and a superb cast. Well done, Wachowskis.
Another point is that Paulie Litt, the young actor who played Spritle Racer, was perfect.
Just remember that I hate hate hate kids in movies. They're boring, say stupid things all of the time and probably smell. But this kid... Well.. Just look.
This kid seriously knows how to hang. And If those pictures aren't enough, you can add him on Myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/paulielitt WTF! I wonder why he's not on Nickelodeon.
Into The Wild(2007, Sean Penn, dvd) - 7 One of the films of 2007 that got away.
Son of Rambow(2008, Garth Jennings, Embarcadero Cinemas) - 8 Well, two great new child actors in one week. The next is Son of Rambow's Neil Dudgeon. He plays a young hell-raiser and aspiring film director. He smokes and makes pirated copies of the first Rambo film, First Blood. He's a bully on the set and on the playground, a mixture of Bart Simpson and John Ford.
Sure, he definitely wouldn't have been able to do it without the help of his co-star, Bill Milner. But the kid begins and ends the movie. And his performance was such that I wonder if it was the film-maker's idea to center so much around this character from the start.
I generally love movies about making movies. In fact I plan to collect as many of them as possible. They're encouraging for a film student who hasn't made a movie in 6 years. This one was especially encouraging, being that its about a few kids starting a production that I'd been dreaming about since the 5th grade. Go see it.
I'm working on a few video ideas for Rock and Roll Film School. I have one script ready for shooting and I just need to organize a shoot. Keep an eye out!
The last two weeks have been filled with school work (and procrastination), dreams about moving away, and planning for the summer.
Hollywood Chinese(2007, Arthur Dong, Grand Lake Theatre) - 7 Picture from The World of Suzie Wong (1960).
Unfortunately when I saw this I was having a major migraine. At one point I had to leave the theater to find some ibuprofen. When I got up to walk to the lobby my vision was flattened, as if I was looking through a wide-angle lens, and light trails were covering everything. I kept it together and found water and Advil. After a few minutes everything was cool again but I was seriously wiped out. Never again.
The film was a pretty interesting look at the history of Chinese-Americans in Hollywood. One of the biggest points was the difficulty of conveying a Chinese-American role and maintaining a Chinese-American identity.
Just look at the careers of the "full" Chinese imports from Hong Kong. Hollywood prefers them to having to explain or work through understanding their American cousins.
I recommend this for those who are already interested.
Senseless (1998, Penelope Spheeris, VHS, rewatch) - 6 Starring Marlon Wayans, David Spade, Brad Dourif, Rip Torn, and the ever brilliant Matthew Lillard.
Is it my birthday already? I got this VHS dub from Austin for my birthday last year, and it was a good time to watch it again.
It fits into an area of late-90s movies that were geared toward Gen-Y and produced by Gen-X. There's some pretty good ones. For an incomplete, terribly half-assed list: Idle Hands (1998), Disturbing Behavior (1998), SLC Punk! (1998), Detroit Rock City (1999) and Can't Hardly Wait (1998)
Million Dollar Baby (2005, Clint Eastwood, dvd, rewatch) - 4 Dude. No. Confessions of a Superhero (2007, Matthew Ogens, DVD) - 8 Loved it.
Sankofa(1993, Haile Gerima, DVD) - 5 The story of Sankofa is a good example of a self-distributed movie being financially reasonable. Director Haile Gerima apparently made $3 million driving around the country with the print of this movie and selling out everywhere he went. This, of course, was over years and years. But he still made a profit.
The film itself was a good example of how to not get distribution. Its a realistic film about the slave trade with little supernatural elements sprinkled in--so its not very comfortable to watch. That wasn't the problem, though. Even the bad pace and its long voice over ending was tolerable. My big problem was in the non-actors. It wouldn't be so bad if this was a relatively calm film, but the high-energy and seriousness of the film demanded real actors.
Detroit Rock City(1999, Adam Rifkin, VHS) - 8 My VHS collection is totally compiled of movies from this 90's teen era. With their beautiful "ALSO AVAIL. ON DVD!!!!" trailers. Ahh... Man. They are the movies that taught me how to be a teenager. I mean, look at those guys.
Girlfight(2000, Karyn Kusama, VHS) - 7 I didn't see this movie when it came out, and now I've paid for it. Very good.
Iron Man(2008, John Favreau, 35mm) - 9 I don't need to write anything here. Go watch it.
The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford (2007, Andrew Dominik, DVD) - 8 Damn. More Casey Affleck and Andrew Dominik, please. Thank you for starring and producing, Brad Pitt.
James Carville, however, you played your role like Judas selling out for 30 pieces of silver. Just kidding, nice to see you in the movies you scary son-of-a-!
Justice League: The New Frontier (2008, Dave Bullock, DVD) - 6 Imagine a beautiful movie about a darker side to the DC Superhero Universe. Kyle MacLachlan plays Superman, Lucy Lawless is Wonder Woman, Neal Patrick Harris is the Flash (!), Jeremy Sisto is a crazy Batman, and Miguel Ferrer is the Martian Manhunter.
I never thought I'd say this, but I wish this 'toon here was live-action. How can we squander all this amazing B-list star power on really awkward voice acting?
Don't get me wrong, I love the animation style that has came out of Bruce Timm's Batman: The Animated Series (1992-1995) and took over the DC animation universe. Its a million times better than anything Marvel produced. And they make some real efforts to bring this straight-to-vid closer to its peak creative effort Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993).
I just got way too excited with those opening credits. Every shot was a big what-if game, "What if they had shot it on crap-o-vision video and it really was Kyle MacLachlan standing on that ledge?!" Not to mention how it'd feel seeing a real Neal Patrick Harris speed across the desert as the Flash. And Lucy Lawless as Wonder Woman is like an old joke.
Come on, we might as well if we're already going straight-to-video. If it was 1989 this would have been done.
So, what began with Gillian Anderson in Princess Mononoke (1997) comes through again here. There are plenty of talented voice actors who would have made Superman really fly but instead we get plain-ass dialogue. Enough of this!
...Well, cast Werner Herzog as the Martian Manhunter and we'll talk.
Boy, oh boy, I had a crazy couple of weeks. It is flu, cold, and (for those of us in college) panic attack season. I think I was able to relax maybe twice this whole time. My hell cycle of irrational fears consisted of moments of the familiar mortality fare, anchored by a I'm Never Gonna Graduate From College anxiety, and accompanied by a spicy new bout of hypochondria.
This was an especially strong and heavy freak-out. Its not a new low, but its definitely a sign that Shit Needs To Change.
So with that, here's my last four weeks of movies.
3/25/08-04/20/08
A Scanner Darkly, with commentary by Richard Linklater, Keanu Reeves, Jonathan Lethem, Producer Tommy Pallotta and PKD's daughter Isa Dick Hackett (2006, D. Linklater, dvd) - 8 A film professor of mine noted that a mistake a lot of film students make is use interviews or commentary by the Director for their papers. She's convinced that since filmmakers are primarily visual artists, they're not going to really clarify anything--in fact they're the worst people to ask. If there's someone who sees the movie different from the rest of the world, its the one behind it all.
Thats where Jonathan Lethem came in. He finished every sentence and wrapped up PKD's ideas that were hanging in the film and at the tip of everyone's tongues. I think this is the place to go with extra features (And speaking of professors, SF State Prof. Joseph McBride recently provided commentary for films in the John Ford Film Collection dvd set). Its nice to hear the filmmakers, but why not an expert?
Cars (2006, D. John Lasseter/Joe Ranft, dvd) - 5 One of the only Pixar movies where the marketing and merch matches the movie. It was OK.
Vertigo (1958, D. Alfred Hitchcock, Castro Theatre, 70mm) - 9 A first time at the Castro. Since seeing it three weeks ago I've been spotting all the landmarks around town. I love San Francisco..
The Year Without a Santa Claus (1974, D. Jules Bass and Arthur Rankin Jr, download) - 7 I recently joined a torrent site that is pretty much the best obscure film resource around. Its invite-only but isn't terribly hard to join. You just have to have the bandwidth to share.
I've downloaded a few movies but I just can't get myself to watch any of them on my laptop. The screen is too small and too close, and the sound is way too low. I think David Lynch has something to do with this:
Many of the movies that I've pulled from KaraGarga have been ones that require a bigger screen anyway. But this one finally took my KG virginity.
Ironically enough this one isn't too obscure. It has played every Christmas since the initial premiere in 1974. Rankin/Bass' style of stop-motion is just creepy enough to make me enjoy Christmas in March. Apparently NBC recently made a live-action version. That stinks of bullshit.
Run Fatboy Run (2008, D. David Schwimmer, Bridge Theatre, 35mm) - 8 I'd like to nominate Simon Pegg as the most adorable everyman ever. Screw Tom Hanks.
Annie Hall (2008, D. Woody Allen, Castro, 35mm) - 10 I loved loved loved this movie. I was deep in panic attack mode and realized that there's someone just as worried about the expanding universe as much as I am.
I caught it for the first time ever at the Castro. I almost didn't go see it. What a mistake that would have been. More Woody Allen in my queue.
The Other Cinema: OPTRONICA (2008, with "Plasma Wielder" Performed by Nate Boyce/Wobbly, Artists Television Access) - 9 Artists Television Access (ATA) has been in the Mission District for 20-25 years. Its a very important place for local film and video artists and has screenings nearly every other day. Yet, this was the first show I'd ever attended. What the hell, Omar.
The Other Cinema provided with exactly what I was wanting from ATA. The highlight was a live cinema show with video and audio synthesizers. God damn am I happy to have been there.
I came really really close to figuring out what the hell was going on. I've spent a lot of time with analog equipment at Woodland's old cable access station, the WAVE, but this show was way hardcore.
Ungrounded cables everywhere. Several keyboards. A couple of mixers.
Bad. Ass.
Robocop (1987, D. Paul Verhoeven, Castro, 35mm) - 7 There's no words for the shock of when I realized that I was really turned off by the violence in this film. I went home, took a deep breath, made some chill tea and really started sorting things out. Never again.
The Terminator (1984, D. James Cameron, Castro, 35mm) - 7 Not as violent. Pretty much the fantasy that every nerd will explore at some point in his life. It comes from feeling different and small. In junior high I used to tell my crushes that I was a hacker. Why not? I was always on the computer.
From there its only a few thousand steps to, "Listen! I'm a man from the future. And you, Linda Hamilton, are the key to our survival. Come with me if you want to live!"
Raging Bull (1980, D. Martin Scorsese, Castro, 35mm) - 7 I waited a year and half to see this movie after my boss Roger told me to wait for it at the Castro. It was definitely worth it. Still, I'm not sure if I would have cared as much if I had seen it on a television. I'm just not really into all of the film school favorites.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008, D. Nicholas Stoller, Balboa Theatre, 35mm) - 9 I first saw Jason Segel in a high school favorite of mine, James Merendino's SLC Punk! (1998). A movie that is so-not-punk for the punk-as-fuck but pretty entertaining for suburban kids in boring towns. Segel was an 18-year-old punker kid that breaks out of a cop car by kicking out the back window. Yeah! SLC starred Matthew Lillard, with other small roles by Devon Sawa and James Duval. Perfect Storm anyone?
Forgetting Sarah Marshall is a breakup story that is spot-friggin-on. Let me tell you from a man that's had experience. I left the theatre feeling hella renewed and definitely missing Hawai'i. Thank you, Judd Apatow and friends. Its been a long week.
Conan The Barbarian (1982, D. John Milius, Clay Theatre, 35mm) - 6 This movie was a little slow for a midnight show. Most people seemed pretty satisfied but I just kept nodding off. The movie is a collage of shots of Arnold holding swords and looking cool. It kind of felt like reading one of those dramatizations of the script with the glossy pictures fit in the middle.
I spent the majority of the week in bed. So did I catch up with movies? Hell no. I was sick.
WOFL 2106 (2006, David O'Reilly, download) - 7 This was some pretty impressive stuff. A small woodland creature is abducted by a UFO. My only complaint is that certain parts reminds me of a lot of gothy art. Asian dude with laser eyes, dead stuffed animal. You get the picture.
Oh! And you can watch it here. and more on his blog.
Barry Lyndon (1975, D. Stanley Kubrick, dvd) - 8 Sometime when I was just beginning to work at the Balboa, a cute girl came in and asked me, "Who's your favorite director?" I hate this question because I don't have an answer. Its a common, and easy question. I should be able to answer it, right? Well, I try to be honest. She was a really cute girl and I didn't want to disappoint her.
So I told her that she'd be bored by my answer.
Sure enough, I was right. Never say Stanley Kubrick.
This should be in the film studies dating manual. Everyone likes Stanley Kubrick. You play this dude's movies at a midnight show and you're rich beyond your wildest dreams. I still haven't seen a Kubrick movie I didn't like. Though there's still a few more for me to go, including Lolita (1962) and Spartacus (1960).
The film uses only natural light with a special custom-built camera, designed so that every single shot looks like a painting. The storm clouds in the distance are perfectly visible in this tense scene. I mean look!
Tired of never seeing landscapes like this? Rent the movie and you'll have 3 hours worth. Its beautiful. Well, I'm going to go die now, in the Nerdery with all the other Nerds.
Dr. Drew standing in for Larry King, probably because Larry's off erasing whatever connection he has to that prostitution ring. Just sayin...
The other guests were riiiiiidiculous. Including a woman who runs sting-operations on cheaters, and a man who runs a hook-up website for cheaters. And a new romantic comedy is born.
Futurama: Bender's Big Score(2007, D. Dwayne Carey-Hill, dvd) - 6 I'm going to have to agree with everyone else. Most of the jokes are references to the rest of the show. Yeah, I saw the Killer Santa Claus episode. It was funny. But do they really need to throw him in so many scenes? Luckily I've been watching the first season over and over lately and it was pretty refreshing to see something new.
Film Club (2000, D. Chris Lamont, dvd) - 5 After all this time I still find it pretty hard to hate Film Club. Yes, I'm pretty aware that its an expensive fan film. A lot of the scenes are clever but hang on your opinion of the source material. Its kind of like secretly making out with someone who resembles an ex, but totally not as hot. Do I really care? No.
One and Eight (1984, D. Zhang Junzhao, projected dvd: FA101) - 8 5th Generation Chinese war drama about eight bandits in a military prison during the Japanese invasion in '37. Apparently, Itspretty hard to find a copy of this movie. Its impossible to ever see its original ending. It didn't make it past the censors and took a few years to have a new ending produced.. Pretty good.
The Truman Show (1998, D. Peter Weir, projected dvd: FA101) - 4 In our discussion group today, our TA mentioned that the Truman Show was originally set in a mock-up of New York a little more akin to Dark City (1998). It was also a little darker. However, when the film was picked up by Peter Weir the setting was moved to a 50's-style Americana paradise island for affluent Southern Californians. And more changes followed.
The rest of the film pretty much sums up to my second-to-least favorite film of the "Holy Shit, My Universe is Total Construct" theme that led up to (and surrounded) The Matrix (1999). See also: EDtv (1999), Dark City (1998), The Thirteenth Floor (1999) and, in a way, Pleasantville (1998).
Funny Games (2008, D. Michael Haneke, 35mm) - 9 Holy fucking shit. I had about three hours of sleep and a good twelve hours of zombieing about the City before I made it into this film. I probably would have been able to laugh a little louder during some of the violence if I hadn't been having a crippling panic attack. This is the most brutal film I'll ever see at the Metreon.
Wayne's World (1992, D. Penelope Spheeris, dvd) - 8 I forgot what exactly it was that I was doing when watching this. Oh yeah! Erasing Funny Games from my immediate memory! Not to say that I hated the latter film. No, not at all! Its just that in order to prevent a heart attack before bed, partyin' on with Wayne and Garth was really what the doctor ordered.
A Scanner Darkly (2006, D. Richard Linklater, dvd) - 7 A friend of mine recently started selling his DVD collection because he stopped smoking weed. I know his pain. Not being a regular smoker but fancying myself a film student, I have a nearly daily struggle when catching a flick at home while not stoned. I can hold myself over with a beer, but I get distracted quickly and jump online.
The last time I saw this movie I was tooootally high. It was at a twin screen in Oahu, an ex-porn palace with wide seats converted into an indie house. My stoner friend who had joined me only became aware that it was a pretty stoney film as we waltzed into the lobby.
"Well friends, the Godfather has arrived," he whispered. I spent the first half of the movie giggling my eyeballs out of their sockets. The movie has held up pretty well. Its strongest scenes are when everyone's hanging around poppin "caps of D." It doesn't really maintain the overall sense of anxiety that we're supposed to be feeling in this supposedly scary new future. But being that the novel was based more on Philip K Dick's own experiences than what we usually see on-screen, its makes it the best PKD adaptation in a recent line of shithouse ones.
Planet of the Apes (2008, Franklin J. Schaffner, Castro Theatre) - 8
Get Rid of Yourself (2003, Bernadette Corporation, download) - 6
Building a Broken Mousetrap (2006, Jem Cohen, download) - 7
Kung Fu Panda (2008, Mark Osborne/John Stevenson, Balboa Theatre) - 6
Superbad: Extended Edition (2007, Greg Mottola, DVD) - 9
The Pervert's Guide To Cinema 1, 2, 3 Presented by Slavoj Zizek (2007, Sophie Fiennes, DVD, rewatch) - 9
Paper Rad: Trash Talking (2006, Paper Rad, DVD) - 8
Mister Lonely (2008, Harmony Korine, Tower Theatre, Sacramento) - 8
The Lorax (1972, Hawley Pratt, VHS) - 9
